Beware the "Turkey Drop!"

When a college freshman breaks up with their long time steady on the first holiday vacation back home, usually at Thanksgiving...

---By Heddwyn Kyambadde, Student Communications intern.
 

The holiday seasons are upon us. Sweet beautiful rain, breaking the monotony of 350 days of sunshine. Christmas is but a month over the horizon. I mean, we’re ‘legally’ listening to Christmas music over Spotify and iTunes.

And if you’ve been on campus you know we’re approaching Thanksgiving. But like every holiday, it comes with a few other traditions that culture adds on.

So what's a 'turkey drop'? Yeah, your guess is as good as mine. Apparently this is a lot more common to the hipster public. So, if this old news to you, pardon me and skip onto the next article. For the less enlightened, prepare for a slight jolt as you discover what is apparently a common practice.

The Turkey Drop (TD):

When a college freshman breaks up with their longtime steady on the first holiday vacation back home, usually at Thanksgiving. --(urban dictionary)

turkeydrop

No, this is apparently not just some random trend that will pass on for the lesser good. We’re not kidding here (otherwise this would be a really bad joke and you would have the right to get mad).

Now you’re probably thinking, this is a modern Christian institution and that stuff only happens elsewhere. Well, we admire you for that and all but… for speculation’s sake, let’s just say Biolans are human beings that have feelings and could potentially practice this shocking custom.

'Tis rather sad knowing that this may potentially happen; almost unbelievable. So we set to the streets among both victims and instigators of the terrible "drop." Here’s the reasoning our investigation revealed:

• With holidays comes gift-giving... so I saw this break-up coming and I made a financial decision.
• I couldn’t do this right after Thanksgiving, that’d just be mean.
• Is there really a best time for breaking up with someone?
• My only choices were before Thanksgiving or before Christmas. You tell me if my choice wasn't best.
• She/He wanted to come with me for the holidays. I didn’t want them meeting my family.
• None of your business.
• We just got done with midterms, it was bound to happen.
• It was a freshman fling, it was good while it lasted.

Yes, these are legitimate reasons. At least those we interviewed thought so. This is in no way a motivator of any sort. Think of it as awareness, made plain. Obviously its a little insensitive to stay with someone merely for the sake of keeping them happy for the holidays. But a pre-holiday breakup?

Comments

Ilene said:

I found this article very interesting. I have to admit my first guess to the title was that perhaps it was more along the lines of diet…some people were coming to grips about the deathly amount of hormones pumped into turkeys and were therefore deciding to “drop” them from their ideal meal-planning. My second guess was college students somewhere were deciding to drop turkeys into the ocean as an act of some extreme animal rights demonstration (Because the ocean seems like a logical place for turkeys? To be honest, I don’t really know where I came up with that one).

But would never have guessed this as the actual definition. I suppose it makes sense. I’m assuming this article gets more laughs than the turkey-dropping-diet thing would have.

Gerry said:

I found myself nodding my noggin all the way thorugh.